Imposter syndrome - what if they find out?
There is this recurrent joke in my family where my brother and I always share with “pride” during family reunions how we, at different times, competed with each other to win the “prize” of getting the worst mark at the French Baccalaureate, but still passing the exam. Back at the time (and still today I suppose) you needed to have a minimum of 10 out of 20 to get your diploma. I got 10.3… not bad ! My brother got an amazing 10.03… He deserves the credit 👏👏👏!
During my studies (Bachelor and Master), similar situation, different context, a great friend of mine laughing at me (still today) telling me with love and a tiny little bit of sarcasm: “ You’re the greatest imposter I know, how did you manage to get your diploma ?!?”. I agree, I was not the most hard working student and I missed 1 or 2 classes…
I had built this image of me being an “imposter” because I was not doing much but still moving to the next class. How people perceive you and the image you have and you’ve build for yourself during many years is sometimes very difficult to get out from and you easily wallow in the image the others have of you.
Looking back, I wasn’t passionate about what I studied. I was passionate about the student life like meeting new people, discovering new cultures, speaking foreign languages, travelling and backpacking.
Well, well, how do I look now ? that’s exactly the point of this article. Those 2 non-exhaustive examples made me feel like a fraud later during many years of my professional career, someone who can not really achieve something complex or meaningful. And it created the feeling of having to prove over and over again. And this, for many years. But if I look back at those 2 episodes, well it’s not that bad, isn’t it? I still passed my exams, and even if I didn’t, would that have made me an impostor ? Someone who doesn’t deserve success from time to time? Absolutely not.
Imposter syndrome
“…also known as impostor phenomenon or impostorism, is a psychological occurrence in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud”
Dr Pauline Rose Clance was the first one to put a word to this phenomenon. She is a psychologist, author of The Impostor Phenomenon: Overcoming the Fear that Haunts Your Success. On her webpage she invites people to take this simple test in order to evaluate the “severity” of your perception of being an imposter.
A frequently cited statistic suggests that nearly 70% of people have entertained impostor thoughts at least at one point in their careers. These thoughts tend to come to a peak when you’re facing a new challenge, starting a new job, or encountering new tasks after a promotion.
Phil McKinney (former CTO at HP and CEO of CableLabs) in this relevant TEDx speech, says “most of us have something fueling their impostor syndrome”. In his case, not holding any degree. In mine, being lazy at school. In yours ?
Identify the root cause
I watched recently this Netflix documentary made by Jonah Hill, famous Hollywood actor (Moneyball, Wolf of Wall Street) about his therapist: Phil Stutz. At some point in the film, they both talk about the shadow as one of the tools used by P.Stutz with his patients. “Everybody has a shadow, it looks a little bit different, but at the end everybody’s shadow is the same because it’s the part of themselves they’re ashamed of…”. The shadow is the version of yourself that you want to hide the most. The first step of “dealing with” your shadow is to “find it, to visualize it”. I’ll stop here with the parallel as those may sometimes be 2 different topics (imposter syndrome and shadow) but still very much connected. But the work behind is the same. Starting by Identifying the root causes of your imposter syndrome by writing some words, picturing images or visualizing memories is key.
Share
Now that you know that many people suffer from this syndrome and that you’ve put some words or image on the root cause, it is time to share it…ideally with people you trust, where you feel safe. People who have your back.
Why ? because it will help you put some words and verbalize how you feel and what’s going on. And by doing that you also encourage other people to share their doubts and feelings as well, and helping them realize they are totally capable of achieving meaningful things.
Ok…but how do you turn those negative thoughts into something positive ?
Manage and overpass your “freeze”…
Since I became a professional coach and even before during my years in HR, I witnessed many people (including myself of course) being stuck, procrastinating, not knowing where to start, being too afraid and impressed about what they really wanted to achieve in their life, etc. Why ? Their imposter syndrome had something to do with it and as an immediate consequence this little voice telling you “what’s the point, you’re not good enough”, “you will never make it”, “way out of your league, sorry”, “better not doing anything than failing, right?”. When I discuss with my clients and ask them to envision how would success look like on a specific project they want to undertake, one natural reaction after envisioning the end result is to “freeze” and immediately telling themselves: “this will never work”. Here is the key to the process, if you can manage and overpass this stage, the world is yours ;-). Joking aside, having a plan helps, going step by step, or pearl after pearl if you prefer, and being kind to yourself, accepting that sometimes you are going to fail or that things will not always go the way you want them to go. This will help you fight your imposter syndrome.
…learn and get better
I remember when I moved from my recruiter role into HR Business Partner at the World Economic Forum, I thought I would never manage to step up with my new responsibilities as they were so many new topics to learn and where you need to reassure employees, managers, Group Heads, Managing Directors, that you are the expert, or at least showing that you are in control and fully capable to guide and manage sensitive situations. And I remember for many months, I was having this fear that someone would come to see me at my desk and tell me: “that’s it, time to go back to recruitment, this won’t work”.
And then it gradually changed and what happened was actually very simple. The more I was learning and acquiring experience on topics related to my job, the less I was having those “imposter” thoughts. I was slowly but surely feeling better, more in control, more confident and I was more incline to listening the feedback clients were giving me, positive but also constructive ones.
Repeating this learning process as much time as possible is an excellent therapy to fight against your “imposter” syndrome.
Let’s end on a positive note
I came across this relevant short interview from Harvard Business Review where Pr. Basima A. Tewfik, assistant professor at MIT Sloan shares her results on 2 field studies related to imposter syndrome. Here are a few takeaways: people who have “imposter syndrome” were rated as more “interpersonally effective”. For example, they would receive better results at handling sensitive interpersonal situation, asking more questions, being more connected with people’s feelings and perceptions.
She also reiterates one key element: “It’s OK to have impostor thoughts sometimes. It’s not a “syndrome” or a pathology”.
“…to date there’s no empirical quantitative evidence that impostor thoughts degrade performance. Yet this notion persists. … It may be that having the right amount of impostor thoughts can provide just enough motivation to bring out your best work. It’s an open question.”
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